Surprise!

I wanted to write this for months but we had to wait. I generally share what I’m going through but I found myself at a loss for words which lead to loss of motivation for creating. The path to the third trimester has not been easy and we were holding off until we felt safe to share. 

When we found out, it was terribly confusing. I was unbelievably sick and tired. I thought my medication was making me sick so I went to check my thyroid levels. Out of curiosity the doctor also did a pregnancy test and it turned out to be positive. I exited the Urgent Care in shock and walked directly to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test.

To my surprise, positive. A few days later I saw an OB/GYN and he said I wasn’t pregnant. I was even more confused so I used another at home pregnancy test to check. Positive. WTH. 

I returned to Urgent Care to ask for an HCG test. Result: 96k = Pregnant. My endocrinologist thought this was all extremely strange so she sent me for a pelvis scan thinking it might be a tubal pregnancy. Thanks to the pandemic, we couldn’t get an ultrasound until a few weeks later. As soon as the ultrasound technician started her scan, she said she needed to change the ultrasound to vaginal for 14+ weeks pregnant. Another shock because due to my calculations, I was about 7 weeks pregnant. Normally I track everything that happens with my periods because of my hyperthyroid but this time around, nothing I noted made sense.

After this we continued to feel scared about the viability of the baby and after NIPT, we decided to wait until the anatomy scan to announce. At the anatomy scan, all looked great but due to my condition, they seemed concerned about the heart. After the scan was finished, it was reviewed and more pictures of the heart were taken. This wasn’t normal and it made me very anxious. They mentioned having to come back after 6 weeks but it would be up to my doctor.

So, I put the announcement off as long as I could because I didn’t want to explain myself to family and friends repeatedly. The questions that came in waves to my mind:  why was I pregnant, why didn’t I know my due date, why it wasn’t viable, why  I lost the baby, what is wrong with the baby… It is hard to get excited with all these things happening, all these questions in my head but lately it feels okay.

I’m sharing because I know someone reading might be going through the same. You are not alone.  I felt such relief when the registry attendant at buybuybaby said “Don’t worry, we didn’t tell anyone until our baby was born” Whatever your reasons are, take the time you need. If you want to announce at 2 weeks, go for it! If you wait till birth, that’s fine too. Find those who will help you navigate through all the ups and downs while making you laugh when you need it the most.

I’m thankful to G, the girls and my sister for their love and support; and for Nora and Sam for keeping me sane and listening to my rants while keeping it fun.

Confusing and terrifying as it has been, we are still incredibly lucky to jump all the hurdles as we await a healthy Halloween baby.